“Hello Jonathan Sattelberger,
Congratulations! We would like to offer you a NBCS student position as an employee with NBCS Operations. You may have interviewed for more than one position, but based on negotiations among the various groups, we are pleased to be inviting you to join our staff. No other group will contact you.
This job offer is contingent on the successful completion of all your employment paperwork, attendance at the New Employee Orientation, and completion of all required training. Details on these requirements are noted below. Be sure to read through this email carefully, so you do not risk forfeiting your position.”
Be prepared to be bored out of your skull.
Gives me a reason to sit and actually do work next semester.